(QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT 24 March 2017 troy k. lynch)
“An unfortunate aspect of Long Term Survival, that even the sweetness of memories dusted with cocaine and mixed with the finest alcoholic elixers cannot mask, is the bitter aftertaste of life when the most creative, adventurous, and capable people we ever knew have died and we find ourselves surrounded by those who always played it safe.”
– Troy K. Lynch
I never knew Walt Cessna, but he was friends with some of my friend’s friends, so I had heard of him and was vaguely familiar with his work; mainly the stuff he did for NINE INCH NAILS and as a chronicler of that Club Kid scene. One of those friends of a friend posted Trey Speegle’s blog post/obit for Mr. Cessna
and after reading it I realized that I did know him. Well I used to know him. Well not him but HIM. Reading his own words as he romantically described the drug and party fueled scramble and squalor of Old Manhattan which he had mastered to a degree that would shame what that Stewart woman had achieved in Connecticut (had they shared a milieu), I so clearly heard the voices of more than one close friend and those of, honestly, countless acquaintances. Polymaths of the party circuit, they all had an ability, no, they had every ability to do whatever was necessary to be where and what they were when they wanted. Sometimes with a raw panache or a streetwise elegance; sometimes with the subtle finesse of a fourth grader saying “fuck” or with the passion of a forty year old making love to someone for the first time instead of just fucking them; always successfully but only because they actually did it.
Lily Tomlin said “Sometimes I worry that drugs have forced us to be more creative than we really are.” and the many comments I read about the “tragic death” of Mr. Cessna, how he was “complicated”, seemed to have a blind spot to the essential nature of creativity: risk and destruction.
The Big Bang was just slightly off ballance, so it produced and in the seeming empty vacuum of space continues to produce slightly more matter than anti-matter. As these infinitesimal particles of creation seek to anihilate their paired particle the ones without a pair remain and give rise to space and the objects in it. Being, anihilation, then permanance. Well not permanance, per se, but a material permanance that allows for a cyclical rearranging that retains essential aspects of the source. Creation. Skip forward and eventually, somehow, maybe, you get man made in God’s image.
Like I said, I didn’t know Walt Cessna, although I can discern from those that did; he was an asshole but had an emmense amount of empathy; he was a rule breaker but imposed his own monolithic ideals on an unsuspecting and underprepaired world; he had an unrelenting belief in himself but he always wanted more until he didn’t. I don’t know about you but I think he sounds just divine.
I have been struggling with my own creativity, always seeming to hit a wall and never getting to the next level but like Walt Cessna, I never stop writing, photographing, drawing, composing, and even now expanding into a new medium: performance art. It is who I am. Watch this space, because after the anihilation, the matter will remain.