Today’s Image: 1 December 2014 World AIDS Day a Tribute to Michael Lloyd Mueller

Michael Lloyd Mueller passed away from complications from AIDS at the age of 28. (Photo- Noreen Kordis)
Michael Lloyd Mueller passed away from complications from AIDS at the age of 28. (Photo- Noreen Kordis)
In the Eighties and Nineties I lost most of my closest friends to AIDS, of all of these deaths the death of Michael Lloyd Mueller continues to have the most profound effect because he defined for me the true meaning of unconditional love.
My first encounter with Michael was in an elevator in a building we both lived in when I was twenty years old and he was fifteen. As I got onto the elevator he swooped in behind me, pressing himself against the wall he looked around the whole car with only the slightest turning of his head, rolling his enormous eyes, then taking a drag off his cigarette (in an ELEVATOR!!!!!) he said to me “eleven, please!” All I could think is “Who does this kid think he is, Bette Davis?” Five years later, when we actually met and became friends, I learned that indeed he was a Bette Davis FREAK! Virtually everything in his life went through the Bette Davis filter: the cigarettes he smoked; his furnishings; vacations; boyfriends; everything. I am somewhat of a minor Bette Davis expert simply from being around him for those years.
He was a conflicted bundle of humanity. He was raised in the Church of Christian Science (his paternal grandparents were Readers with high standing in the Church) so he rarely took any kind of medication but he used marijuana, cocaine, opiates, opioids, LSD, and psychedelic mushrooms recreationally. He was fearless when facing human attackers but once called me in a panic because there was a tree roach in his apartment. He treasured his independence but used the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his father as leverage for his parents to pay his rent and household bills. Both of his parents were teachers and he had a top notch private education but he was a high school dropout. Despite being gayer than Gay Gayerson he would from time to time have intense, passionate, though short lived relationships with women. He cut off good friends for suspected flirting with his boyfriends but on two occasions I walked in on him having sex with my lover. He had an ability to charm anyone with an engaging and adorable personality and loved being the center of attention yet he was intensely private.
We lived in the same building in Downtown Cincinnati for six years and he was an integral part of my life. He, my lover and I dealt with all the joys, banalities, aggravations, and heartaches that were part and parcel of the lives of the Urban Gay Male of the time but no retelling of our exploits could sum up our relationship better than the Pet Shop Boys’ song Being Boring

<Being boring
I came across a cache of old photos
and invitations to teenage parties
'Dress in white' one said with quotations
from someone's wife, a famous writer
in the nineteen-twenties
When you're young you find inspiration
in anyone who's ever gone
and opened up a closing door
She said we were never feeling bored

'cause we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
and we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought then thought make amends
And we were never holding back or worried that
time would come to an end

When I went I left from the station
with a haversack and some trepidation
Someone said if you're not careful
you'll have nothing left and nothing to care for
in the nineteen-seventies
But I sat back and looking forward
my shoes were high and I had scored
I'd bolted through a closing door
and I would never find myself feeling bored

'cause we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
and we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought then thought make amends
And we were never holding back or worried that
time would come to an end
We were always hoping that, looking back
you could always rely on a friend

Now I sit with different faces
in rented rooms and foreign places
All the people I was kissing
some are here and some are missing
in the nineteen-nineties
I never dreamt that I would get to be
the creature that I always meant to be
but I thought in spite of dreams
you'd be sitting somewhere here with me

'cause we were never being boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
and we were never being boring
We dressed up and fought then thought make amends
And we were never holding back or worried that
time would come to an end
We were always hoping that, looking back
you could always rely on a friend

And we were never being boring
We were never being bored
'cause we were never being boring
We were never being bored

>A song he introduced me to. I love him and miss him so much.

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